Play by Bear

the fortieth solar return

I used to have nice and peaceful days in the month leading up to my birthday, but in the last several years, starting with the first summer of COVID, things have become more turbulent. These years have been challenging due to external events and the actions I had to take. In other years, I simply didn't bother celebrating my date of birth but still acknowledged it. The days leading up to this acknowledgment were spent in gentle anticipation. On the day itself, I occasionally treated myself by checking into a "W hotel," enjoying a glass of champagne, or engaging in a similar consumerist gesture to treat my inner child. And never a party, nothing intended for the public eye. The Solar return is a day I keep private, and knowing some other Cancer men, it is unlikely because of the nature of the Sun-sign we share.

My 40th birthday is today. I'm not a big fan of the round numbers, let alone the decimal system as a whole, but it's hard to ignore the number that shifts the perspective of the position in life from “one third” to “a half.” For many, including myself, the forties are when youth suddenly turns into old age. Personally, I have high hopes for my early forties, not because astrology promises me that many, but because I find that having an eclectic mind makes it easier to embrace the ever-evolving socio-economic landscapes of our ambiguous world. Rather than focusing on merely surviving the problems, I am eager to actively seek solutions to the growing number of challenges our society faces. First, to the best of my ability, and then tirelessly.

A gift I'm giving myself today is my new website. I've been gradually working on it for several months now. If you've ever built a house, you may agree that they are never truly finished. The same goes for the code of my new digital home. However, I received a call from my cosmic landlord informing me that my lease is up, and I have to move out, ready or not. So, if you are currently on my website, metaphorically speaking, imagine yourself sitting in the kitchen where the walls have no tiles. I apologize for that. Yes, there are easier methods to publish my writings and engage in "social," but those don't align with my way. This aspect alone may give you insight into the conversations to come, even before we start pouring Pu Erh or wine (we are still in the kitchen).

#website maintenance